I remember laying in my room using my stomach as a table for my laptop when I came across a craigslist ad that would forever change my perspective on psychologists and older gay couples. The ad was long but the header caught my attention, “Doctor looking for an assistant – full time.” I skimmed through the ad but only a few things really caught my attention. First, was the fact that he mentioned he was gay about 5 five times and that he was looking for someone who was “gay friendly.”  Second, he posted stock pictures of muscular men holding wheelchairs but no one sitting in them. Perhaps this mysterious doctor was a ghost or invisible or extremely small but nevertheless, I sent my resume along with a message saying “Hi, my name is William Grant and I’m interested in the position. You can reach me at —— if the position is still available.” That’s how I remember it anyway but it is possible all I put was my phone number but either way, I get a call two days later from an unknown number.

“Hello, is this William?” 

Hi, yes who is speaking? I replied.

“This is Dr. Bern Hartman, you applied for the assistant position and I would like for you to come in for an interview?”

The rest is history, after searching for weeks if not months for a job, I finally have someone who is actually interested, and the fact that he didn’t put down the amount made it even more exciting. I mean it’s simple math, doctor+ gay = a very fashionable rich person who can afford this twink a load of money. Yes, I didn’t fully read the ad and I didn’t know what being an “assistant to a psychologist” really meant but hey I’m pretty gay-friendly. Hell, I’m so friendly for the right amount of money I’ll lift him up on a gay parade float like the lion king or that scene in the titanic with the whole world watching because I’m so fucking progressive all I care about was money. Dropping out of college and having tons of credit card debt was a weight on my shoulders that felt heavier and heavier each day, the stress was killing me and my savings account was almost to zero so this opportunity was something I really needed. After accepting the interview, I get an email immediately with the address and time. Next thing you know I’m in my car wearing the only expensive thing I own – a pea coat jacket from J-crew, my tight jeans, and a white button dress shirt from H&M with the top button missing but honestly I didn’t care because a little cleavage never hurt anyone.

When I arrive at the town Mount tabor, a town in which I’d never known existed beforehand – I was both impressed and disappointed. The town, Mount tabor is considered historical and when you’re there it looks like you just traveled inside a postcard. The houses all look unique with different colors while being extremely close to each other almost touching each other with little room for a backyard. The town itself was like a maze and even though I found this place to look interesting I was a bit disappointed they weren’t mansions as I hoped. Don’t get me wrong the houses weren’t t tiny but they didn’t look like doctor rich kind of homes with golden fountains on the front porch but again I can tell it has to be expensive living in this Disney postcard. My apple maps lead me to this small green-looking home with no driveway in sight so I just prayed that a car is able to fit by if it needed to pass because the streets were designed for clown cars. I get to the house and ring the doorbell, his instructions in the email was that I can open the door and wait in the waiting room before he calls me in through the intercom but when I get to the door I can clearly see through the glass on the door that this wasn’t a waiting room and in fact, it was a kitchen. The lights were turned off but again I decided to ring the bell before I hear a

“Do you need any help?”

Behind me was an older woman holding a plastic bag, didn’t take long for me to realize this was the wrong house and I’m an idiot. I tell her the address I’m looking for and she instructs me the address is up the hill and to the right. For whatever stupid reason that I can’t remember why I decided to walk instead of going back in my car, the hill was steep, and by the time I got to the top I was out of breath especially since I was powerwalking, I was already a few minutes late.  When I get to the doctors’ house I’m relieved it’s one of the biggest houses on the block. I open his screen door which I can see has a waiting room filled with magazines and a shiny plaque that reads Dr. Bern Hartman. Right as I’m about to press the buzz button on the intercom, I hear a voice saying, “Hi Will, my house manager is going to open the door in a minute, come upstairs and enter inside the first room on the right.” The door opens and before the thought of what the fuck is a house manager forms in my brain I’m greeted by an overweight woman probably in her 40s. She introduces herself as Dawn and points upstairs holding a bunch of cleaning products. For the sake of poetry just pretend she was holding a bottle of dawn soap because in my flawed memory that was what she was holding. As I walk upstairs I get a little nervous and hope to god I don’t open the wrong door. Slowly, I open the door and see him sitting on a red couch alongside his walker. He looks at me with a smile and says “Hey there” my eyes gravitated to all the framed diplomas and books behind him. Dr. Hartman was about 5’6 brown medium hair, white, goatee, and chubby. We talked for probably over an hour and in any other job interview, I would be complaining that I’m being interviewed for such a long period of time but, to be honest with you, I was having fun. I enjoyed talking to Dr. Hartman, we talked about psychology, life, family, politics it was as if I was on a threshold of a therapy session and a conversation between a really cool stranger at a bar. Dr. Hartman seemed extremely articulate and knowledgeable about almost everything, he was even able to tell I had Cuban in me for some strange reason. Finally, we discussed the job and the pay towards the end of the conversation. Dr. Hartman was telling me how he had pancreatic cancer and they had to chip away…… something something, something (this is where my mind didn’t really care enough to remember) which lead him to have type 2 diabetes, he also suffered from myelopathy which is a nervous system disorder that effects his balance he proceeded to explain his partner has multiple sclerosis as well as other issues like a back surgery gone wrong. I didn’t get to meet his partner, Stephen that day. The pay was a little underwhelming but not horrible it was something sustainable for the meantime plus this might be the first time in my life I won’t hate my boss. 

As I’m leaving he asks

“Oh one more thing can you send a picture of your face, I need it for my file just in case of an emergency.”

Without hesitation I said, no problem. I didn’t see this as weird at all – I mean he said the word “files” that was enough for me to blindly comply. When I get home I realize I don’t have any pictures I like so I quickly take a selfie of me smiling and off I send it. I wasn’t sure if I got the job but a reply at 3 am telling me I can start tomorrow confirmed I aced the interview. The next day, I’m greeted by their two large dogs Mookie and River. River, is a white lab and Mookie is an overweight beagle the one dog that closely resembles Dr. Hartman. The dogs are excited, barking and running around, jumping all over the place. Dawn comes out of the shadows and screams “Stop!” at the dogs. Dawn’s “Stop!” scared me and it seems I was the only one that followed the command instead of the dogs. I was instructed through email that Dawn was going to show me around. Hartman works nights which can lead all the way to 4 am so naturally he’s sleeping during the day. Didn’t really understand who would see a psychologist so late but who am I here to judge. A man comes out of the kitchen standing about 6’2 tall, around the same age as Dawn, 40, his cheeks had wrinkles almost like a maze. His name was Jeff and he was going to take over Dawn’s “house manager” position. I don’t know why Dawn was leaving and never found out why but she seemed in a rush to show both of us around. First, the kitchen, then the garage, the living room, upstairs we went showing us the bathroom, tub room, and then Dr. Hartman’s office. After the office she shows us a closed-door which is Stephen’s room, and finally Dr. Hartman’s bedroom. Dawn walks inside his room without knocking, both Jeff and I stop, before I can say anything Jeff says, “Isn’t he sleeping?” as Dawn opens her mouth about to reply a voice from afar says, “No, it’s fine to come in.” Dawn explains to us you can come into the bedroom anytime Dr. Hartman doesn’t mind at all and we’re allowed to wake him up if we need to anytime. Dr. Hartman’s room was big; his bed took up half the room almost looking like a throne for a queen. A huge mirror attached to the wall with two dressers on each side gives an appearance of royalty, especially with the golden-colored lamps attached to the back of the bed frame. Dr. Hartman was shirtless with his large blanket tucked between his legs, wearing a beanie hat, completely shameless about his appearance oh, and who can forget his piss bottles next to his bed. I looked at the yellow-filled urine bottles and I looked at Jeff, now understanding what a house manager really is. “You guys finding everything fine? Will, how was your drive over here?” said Dr. Hartman as he slowly turns on the golden lamp. I reply and we go back and forth as Jeff and Dawn stand there awkwardly, finally, Hartman asks Dawn if she can bring up his scrambled eggs and pineapple juice. Dawn says yes and off we follow her to the kitchen to watch her make scrambled eggs. I have no idea why I had to watch but I’m telling you this woman can make some mean scrambled eggs. 

For the first couple of days, the work was easy and I even enjoyed it. Mostly, I went on his tablet and emailed patients about appointments, creating a schedule and then I would follow the email list I would get at 5 am which was the most random shit you can imagine.  It would look something like this,

• Create a schedule for patients
• Set up the waiting room
• Email a doctor’s appointment for Stephen
• Change lightbulb in living room
• Search for nice wallpaper for living room
• Get CD player to work
• Find me a movie to watch during the weekend. I enjoy drama, not too much action. Please create a list
• Make sure Jeff is doing his tasks.
• See me, I want to talk to you.
• Put together Ikea furniture I just bought – should be downstairs
• Organize all my files

Sometimes the list would go on and on but I didn’t mind at all – well didn’t mind in the beginning, to say the least. It’s been two weeks and I still haven’t seen this mysterious Stephen, still locked in his room. Is Stephen dead? Beats me, I just kept my head down and follow the list. Occasionally, Dr. Hartman would get up about 2 hours before I was leaving and he would ask me to join him to eat with him. We would talk for hours and again I didn’t mind, I enjoyed talking to him, didn’t take long before I was comfortable with him and I was able to let loose with my vocabulary getting to say the word like “fuck” casually. Jeff was already gone by the time Hartman got up, normally the “house managers” leave around 3 pm. It’s Friday night and I’m about to leave I hear his stairlift slowly take him downstairs. Dr. Hartman asks, “Are you hungry? Come on let’s eat.” I think to myself why not, I have fun talking to him I’ll just sit and talk for 30 minutes. Hartman creeps over to the kitchen with his walker and looks at the pan on the stove. “Did you leave this pan on the Stove, Will?” Hartman asks. “Nope, I don’t use the Stove.” Hartman just shrugs and says “Oh it must’ve been Jeff.” In an annoyed sounding voice. I didn’t think too much about it, Hartman grabs his prepared food that Jeff made in the refrigerator and sits at the kitchen table. We talk about a few things – a bunch of random topics until I finally ask more about his partner, Stephen.

• So how did you and Stephen meet? I ask.  

“Oh Stephen and I met in college but we’re not together anymore romantically. He’s changed ever since his multiple scrolis became unbearable to his health. Stephen sleeps all day and only comes out once or twice from his room. Which reminds me he’s having major back surgery in a month to correct a surgery he had years– something he’s been putting for months. All the doctors are fed up with him, I’m telling you, Will. Stephen doesn’t want to live anymore he’s always depressed. Eventually, you’re going to have to take him to the hospital on the day of the surgery. I can’t believe you haven’t met Stephen. He’s such a hermit.” Dr. Hartman says as he dives into his meal.

• Does Stephen have family? I ask.

 “Don’t get me started with his family. They all are horrible people, they pushed him out of their circle.  His father is a millionaire as well as two of his four brothers. We don’t get a dime.”  Dr. Hartman’s tone shifts into anger.

“Not one fucking dime. Poor Stephen, he’s still attached to them. His one brother owes Stephen thousands of dollars.” Dr. Hartman shoves his scrambled eggs in his mouth.

“I thought they were millionaires,” I asked.

“Stephens one brother owns a marijuana store in California which his daddy helped invested. Stephen was dumb to give his brother money for his other “Investments” God, his family will give me a heart attack one day. If only I can see his fathe– “ Hartman says before I interrupt him.

• Stephens dad is still alive?

“Yeah, he’s in his mid to late 90s. He just won’t die.” Dr. Hartman says clenching his fork.  

The conversation got awkward fast and all I wanted to do was leave but Hartman was like a machine gun just ranting about his family fast. Talking about how spoiled Stephens nephews and nieces are. Hartman proceeded to talk about how timid and weak Stephen is and that Hartman has to be the one that has to make all the decisions.

“Even our kids can’t stand Stephen or his family.”  (What the hell I never knew they had kids.)

“You have kids?” I ask

“Yes, we have two adopted, one is named Felix he’s 29 years old and working as a surgeon for burn victims in Sweden. The other is named Blaise he’s an award-winning psychologist, Blaise has written a lot about sexuality – in fact, we adopted Blaise when he was a teen because his family abandoned him for being gay.” Dr. Hartman says with a smile.

I was impressed – not so much with their pretentious names but the fact both their adopted sons were highly successful. There was something admirable about that. Dr. Hartman looked proud and finally smiling again not like when he was having his “Stephens family” rant but it didn’t take long at all for him to revert back to anger after I ask him,

• “How often do they visit? I’m sure it’s hard for you to have your sons living so far away.”

“Yes, I talk with them every day but between you and me, Stephen is the reason they stay away. They love Stephen but they can’t stand being around him anymore or his family. Both kids are angry about how his family is treating me and how Stephen won’t do anything” Hartman replies.

I don’t understand why someone’s kids would cut someone off like that but my gut was telling me that he’s not telling me the whole story or at least there’s more to it. I had to cut off Hartman and tell him that it was getting late and I should rest. “Oh, of course, listen because I know it’s late you can sleep here, the couch in the office room can turn into a bed; it extends out.” Dr. Hartman excitedly said.

• “Thank you, but I have some things to do in the morning before coming here.” I quickly said

It was a little strange to ask me to sleep over but I shrug it off as him being nice. When I stand up I hear a “Oh wow.” From Dr. Hartman

Dr. Hartman grabs onto my biceps – “I didn’t know you worked out” he says

I slowly move my arm away and go, “Yeah I try as much as I can”

Now I really want to get out before it becomes a broke back mountainy situation but I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt he’s just being nice and not creepy.

“I need to lose weight I used to be so fit do you think you can train me?”, Hartman asks.  

“Oh, I don’t think I’m qualified to train –“I say before getting cut off.

“I’ll pay you extra don’t worry,” Hartman says.  

“Yes, I can train you.” I said (I’m a whore for money)

Off I went home thinking how weird that whole exchange was especially how easy he’s able to jump from mad, sad, happy, to creepy in such a short period of time. When I get in my car I look down at my pea coat jacket and notice all the white hair from their dog River, was plaguing my coat. One thing I’ll never shake is the smell of Dr. Hartman’s’ house, it’s a smell that’s hard to explain. Imagine an antique store with a bunch of dogs living in it, and the smell of a 90-year-old woman who smoked most of her life, mixed with a smell of old stained carpets. The smell stuck… onto my jacket… onto my clothes…. even my wallet. Friends and family would ask what that smell was. Took a long time for me to shake that smell away, I would say it took years to get rid of it completely. On Monday I go into work and as I enter the kitchen I see Jeff, frantically making eggs, pasta, and cleaning all at the same.

“Hey Will, take a look at this. Did you get this?” Jeff says.

It was a printed out page from Dr. Hartman email saying in red text,

“Jeff, what is wrong with you? I’m both angered and disappointed, on Friday you left the pan with the handle sticking out. You know, I have difficulty walking, I could have hit it and fallen. You need to be careful. This is your fourth mistake so far. Will can help you if you need to. Will was also surprised you  made a blunder like that. I will discuss your employment with Stephen later today please pay attention!!!”

My eyes widen, immediately I look at Jeff and say,

“I never fucking said anything about that.”

Jeff says, “I know I figured. He’s been complaining last week about weird things.”

• “Weird things like what?” I ask.

“Dr. Hartman has been complaining about my cleaning and my breakfast which is weird because when I brought it to him he told me how great my cooking is but then I get an email late at night saying how horrible and weird tasting my food is. The emails could be like three pages long. Do you get any emails like that?” Jeff asks.

• “No, I mean nothing so far. Wait, have you ever seen Stephen?” – I ask .  

“No, I was told by Bern not to go in his room that he doesn’t want it to be cleaned. Haven’t seen him so far.” – Jeff says while continuing to clean.

This was the first time I got to talk to Jeff in a long-form conversation – he seemed friendly and after hearing him talk shit about Hartman I started to hear more about Jeff’s personal life. Jeff used to work in an office with lawyers – I’m not sure if he was a lawyer apparently he made good money but he was a heavy drinker. He ended up losing his job and even went to jail for crashing a car through someone’s front porch. Jeff went on and on about his life this man liked to talk once he opened up. What I found interesting was that he didn’t make it out into some sob story instead he somehow made it sound just something that was a part of his life almost like he was in denial that he’s cleaning piss out of an old man’s urine bottle and cooking/cleaning only slightly getting above minimum wage. For the coming days I talked to Jeff more and more we would look over his Hartman emails while having a good laugh about it.

“Please vacuum the stairs – don’t get afraid to get loud. I can withstand it.” Hartman’s email read to Jeff

What the fuck did that mean?

“Come talk to me before leaving, don’t avoid me! Stop avoiding me! Thank you for all you have done – seriously you’re a big help. Make sure to make Will a sandwich before leaving.” Read another.

Some of these emails were hilarious and a part of me couldn’t tell if Hartman was just fucking with Jeff like it was some sick pleasure. I was still talking and eating with Hartman before I would leave to go home and before Dr. Hartman saw his patients. Dr. Hartman came across as an intelligent, insightful guy it was hard for me to understand why he would create these strange and sometimes mean emails to Jeff in the middle of the night. As long as they weren’t sent to me I was fine to be honest maybe he just had something against Jeff – maybe Jeff just needs to wear a short sleeve shirt to show off his guns.

  Don’t get me wrong there were some red flags even besides the whole Stephen family deal which he would still bring up again and again. He asked me if I was bisexual once and I said “no” and then he started to tell me that it’s almost impossible for someone to be 100% straight. Dr. Hartman tell me there’s a study done that actually one of his son, Blaise is credited for in which a bunch of “straight” guys were shown gay porn with wires attached to their cocks and they found out all of them at some point had a bit of blood flow going watching the gay porn. I don’t understand what that has to do with anything and why he’s bringing it up – I mean I do have a feeling why but again I found it hilarious he’s trying to convince I’m not 100 percent straight. Hartman threw some other studies that I can’t remember what they were but I finally I asked him “Are you 100 percent gay?” He replies laughing saying “Yes.”

Around 2 weeks later the list of Hartman demands got weirder and weirder. I was still scheduling patients but often I would get asked to watch Jeff for the whole day. The emails Jeff and I used to laugh over was a thing in a past when Jeff stopped showing them to me or even talking about it. One of the days Jeff was upstairs cleaning when I saw the printed email Dr. Hartman left on the kitchen island. The page was flipped but I couldn’t help myself flipping over and reading what Hartman put.

“ARE YOU DRINKING AGAIN? LIQUIR FROM THE BOTTOM SHELF IS ALMOST EMPTY. PLEASE REPLY IMMEDIATELY. SEE ME BEFORE LEAVING.”

On the bottom of that email was a list of his daily routines with a red text explaining what he’s doing wrong and how he can do better. Even talking about how to clean the toilet better using pine sol and a more circular motion.  All I can think about is how much of a mistake it might’ve been telling Dr. Hartman about myself. I’m pretty reserved and often times I don’t tell people about my personal life – hell I don’t even have social media. Poor Jeff, probably told Hartman at some point about his past and now he’s using it against him. But what if Hartman was right about Jeff’s drinking? There was no indication Jeff was drinking at all but what happens if I’m missing something? Here, I was trying to give Hartman the benefit of the doubt – I told myself to keep myself out of it. The next few days things seemed to calm down, I can hear Hartman upstairs with Jeff talking and laughing. Jeff also seemed happier and back to being more talkative. I also finally got to see bigfoot, the mysterious Stephen. As I’m leaving Hartman’s room after discussing Stephen’s surgery, Stephens door opens, and out comes this man with short white hair, cargo pants, hunched over to the point he looks like some other life form. Stephen drags his feet across the floor with his walker being the only thing supporting him from death, Stephen turns his head and says “Hello.” as he walks into the bathroom holding a piss bottle filled to the top. That was the first interaction with Stephen I had.   

Skip a week or two later and I get an email from Dr. Hartman explaining that his Microsoft word office won’t open on his tablet. The first thing I do when I get to Hartman’s place is head over to the living room and grab his Microsoft tablet like a good little employee. I’m not a computer wiz but I’m also not old so this is probably going to be easy like 90% of the tasks he’s given me so far. Dr. Hartman is indeed correct that Microsoft word won’t open, I decide I’m going to uninstall and reinstall so I hit on the folder icon but before I can say the words gay-friendly a bunch of saved cock pictures show up. Huh, so Hartman is a collector of dicks, that’s funny, I couldn’t wait to show Jeff that I found a  treasure chest of cocks. However, I noticed not every picture was a cock picture well all of them were except for one. Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, feet and cock, cock, picture of me smiling, cock, cock, cock. Oh fuck that’s a picture of me – I click on it only to confirm, yes that was the picture I sent for Dr. Hartman’s “Files”. This guy was jerking off to my picture? Maybe he accidentally put my pictures on his dick folder – no I’m just messing with you no more giving Dr. Hartman the benefit of the doubt. I found it hilarious and the first thing I did was whip out my phone and take a picture of it while sending it to my friends. You know what in a weird way I was flattered but also horrified at the same time that some old psychologist was stroking to my face. I know it’s considered sexual harassment but I saw Dr. Hartman, harmless I mean what’s the worse he can do the dude could barely walk.

A few days until Stephens’s surgery and I’ve been seeing Stephen around the house more and more. I even talked to him – it was short and Stephen is probably the most soft-spoken person I’ve ever met in my life. He tried to be funny, cracking jokes in front of both Jeff and I. Stephen seemed gentle and not even close as demanding as Hartman was or invasive. I would say Stephen was the complete opposite, short in conversation and not getting personal. This weak-minded monster Hartman was trying to portray didn’t really fit at all what I was seeing. Stephen stayed all day downstairs in the living room – going back and forth to the kitchen. When Jeff left and I was done with Hartman’s list, I got to talk more with Stephen. Stephen used to own businesses – he owned a storage company, a cleaning company, and was heavy into stocks. He went on and on about how he used to be way more energetic and how his MS made it almost impossible to function anymore. Stephen explained sometimes his legs feel like it’s on fire as if someone put them in an oven, he has to take loads of medication as well as a fentanyl patch which he explained if I were to touch it I’ll die. It’s something that takes a long time to build up, Stephen asks if I was willing to pick up his prescriptions tomorrow Stephen felt Jeff would often forget to pick his medications up and only remembers to pick up Bern. Stephen takes his wallet out and pulls a credit card and hands it over to me. Tells me that he’ll order one for me with my name on it, just use this one for now. Before I can say anything I hear the stairlift go down.

“Hi Stephen it’s good you’re up. Do you have everything for tomorrow’s surgery? Oh, Will, I forgot you’re here.”

• “Yes, I was talking to Stephen on my way out – “, I reply getting cut off by the sound of the stair lift stopping right smack in the middle of the staircase. It just came into a sudden halt.

Hartman closes his eyes and starts rattling his head in anger

“I fucking told Jeff to fix the chair! Oh my god..oh my god…I just can’t anymore.” Screams Dr. Hartman.

Stephen yells, “Calm down Bern, try going up and then go down again.

“No! Stephen, it should go down! This fucking alcoholic loser can’t do anything! Call him! Call him! Please” Dr. Hartman said wailing his arms. I was shocked I’ve never seen anyone panic this much, his face was turning bright red with his eyes still closed. Stephen grabs his walker and struts towards the stairs.

“Will, please call Jeff hurry please!” Hartman says from the staircase

Hartman presses the down button but all you hear is the beeping noise – no movement. I quickly take out my phone and ask what his number is.

“Jeff never gave you his number? Stephen, I just can’t anymore”

Hartman starts crying while making grunting noises. Stephen frantically tries to get up the stairs by literally on all fours. Stephen lays on the side of the stairs trying to see if something is stuck on the rail or it’s something he can fix. I don’t know how well Stephen is with fixing stair lifts. I was completely flustered I didn’t know what to do. Hartman screams out his number slowly but halfway towards him telling me Jeff’s number, I interrupt and say “Dr. Hartman that’s my phone number.” Hartman screams in terror while Stephen is shouting at him to calm down. Stephen has his head right under Hartman’s legs, using his cellphone as a flashlight.

“Bern don’t press anythi-” Stephen says but before Stephen can finish the word “anything” he presses down which resulted in Stephens’s head getting hit. Stephen curses and tells him to go up. Hartman complies and asks if he’s okay as the chair slowly goes up.

“Please stop I’ll fix this myself you’re making it worse. I think it’s Rivers hair that’s clogging it up.” Stephen shouts.

Bern shouts back, “Jeff was supposed to do this!”

Stephen still on the floor rubbing his head says, “For fuck sake we need to call the company, Jeff can’t fix everything”

“Umm do you guys need any help” I sheepishly ask hoping they’ll let me go home even though a part of me is enjoying watching the chaos play out.

“I’m going to walk down, I’m sorry Will can you help me down please I need to eat. I’m starving I’m so sorry. Fucking Jeff.” Hartman says from the second floor.

Stephen tries getting up while grunting in pain and I try my best to help him first. After what felt like forever I was able to get Stephen upstairs as Hartman watches holding on to his walker.

“Will, you need to make sure I don’t fall I don’t feel good. I feel like my sugar levels are falling dangerously low.” Says Hartman as he shuffles towards the stairs

I ask, “Do you want me to bring food up?”

“No,  I have to go down just help me quickly I have patients coming in soon.”

Stephen screams out from his room, “You don’t ever see any fucking patients!”

“Stephen stop it! Go back to your room” Screams Dr. Hartman. What does Stephen mean by not seeing any patients? I mean I see the emails and I schedule them? I thought to myself I’ll try to solve that mystery later but for now, I need to help this dying man down.

“Grab on to my shorts, Will.”  Get me out of here is what all I can think about it.

Slowly we go downstairs as I hold Hartman. His whole body shaking in fear…one foot after the other. Nice we are already more than halfway there.

Hartman stops and says,  “What do you think of Jeff?”

“Uh yeah, Jeff is good. Seems nice.” I said quickly while holding Dr. Hartman

“Don’t tell him I said this but Stephen thinks Jeff been drinking and I think so too.” Hartman says while still standing and not moving.  

“Really? He doesn’t seem like he’s been drinking. Why? Does he have a drinking problem?” I said, trying to act dumb.  I point towards the step trying to give him the clue we need to get the fuck down already why is Dr. Hartman talking to me in the middle of the stairs while shaking in fear. He takes one step down but stops again

“I’ve been thinking –“

Jesus Christ just go down. At first, I was clenching my hand really hard holding on to his shorts almost to the point I was giving him a wedgie but fuck it my grip is going to get looser if he wants to have a conversation and play with his life.

“We should have two house managers. I think two is the way to go – I’m going to type up an ad and the day after tomorrow can you publish it? I’m going to try to find a woman this time. Jeff can’t do this alone.” Hartman says.

Stephen from the second floor looking down says, “Bern what are you doing walk down the stairs already.”

Finally, I go home after I bring Hartman down. I wake up to an email with only one task. Get Stephen to the hospital. Today was his big surgery and all I had to do was make sure Stephen had everything – his wallet, comb, etc and drive Stephen to the hospital. Easy! Well, that’s what I thought. I was instructed by Hartman to get there early even earlier than the time Jeff arrives and when I got there little did I know I was in for a surprise. Ripped-up post-it notes all across the floor greeted me when I entered, when I went into the kitchen I was also greeted by a broken plate with the refrigerator wide open. What happened to this place when I left? One other thing that seemed out of place or rather missing were the two large dogs that always run and wrestle me down when I enter. Before I can even start looking I hear a distant bark coming from outside. Both Mookie and River were outside – not able to get in because the door was shut. I rush to open the door and both run towards me in excitement. Were the dogs outside the whole time since I was gone? Quickly, I pick up the broken plate from the floor so the dogs don’t eat it, pick up the papers all over the floor, and walk upstairs towards Dr. Hartman’s room.

“Bern, what happened?” I ask

All I hear is snoring as a response which is bullshit because I’ve never heard him snore once. It’s almost as if he thinks he snores and is using it as a way to get an Oscar award for best fake sleeper. I shake his arm for him to wake up and still nothing which again is bullshit he’s a light sleeper. You don’t know how many times I’ve printed something in his room and had tiptoed just because I wanted to avoid conversation but the slightest creak on the wood floor wakes him up and I’m stuck talking to him. It can be fun talking to him but sometimes I just want to finish the work as quickly as possible. Again, I shake him while trying to tell him to wake up. Stephen screams from the other room for Bern to wake up and finally his snoring stops and he looks at me while pulling his beanie slightly down.

“Oh, hi Will did you drop Stephen from the hospital?” Hartman says while rubbing his eyes.

I reply, “No, I just got in it’s still early. Listen, there was a broken plate and both Mookie and River were outside I don’t know for how long?”

Bern closes his eyes and whispers, “Oh no not again.”  

Bern opens his eyes and whispers again, “It was Stephen, I think he was sun downing again oh  not again.”

I look at Hartman in confusion.

Dr. Hartman says, “Will, Stephen has early dementia, he’ll act crazy, especially on certain days. Remember I told you about how he’s always skipping doctor visits and even doctors will call me personally and tell me they can’t deal with him as a patient.”  

I hear a walker in a distance coming towards Dr. Hartmans room. Bern’s face looks scared and again he closes his eyes saying “Please god give me strength.”

Stephen walks in Bern’s room “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Stephen please leave. I cant deal with you now” Hartman yells   

“No say it, say it.”

“Go to the hospital please you need it? Stop doing this.” Hartman says with his eyes closed

“I’m not going, I told you.” Stephen says, as he inches his way closer to the bed. Stephen says,   “I’m sorry Will you can go home now I’m not going to the hospital today.´

I’ve never seen Bern move so quickly. He grabs his blanket and throws it across towards the other side of the bed. I walk back which was a mistake because in doing so I saw something that would forever stain my eyes. Hartman’s enormous balls reveal themselves through his pulled up basketball shorts. I have never seen such huge balls in my whole life it looked like he was pregnant with twins and the heads were popping out. They were medically concerning large, not the ‘I have big balls show off’ kind. I wasn’t sure if maybe it was a diabetic thing? Maybe there’s something called diabetes balls? I don’t know and I don’t know how the both of them are not noticing it I mean Bern has to know his balls are sticking out and Stephens vision can’t be that horrible.

Hartman says, “Stephen you have no right to send Will home. He came all the way here why are you doing this to us why are you doing this to yourself? You need the surgery Stephen, look at you…you can barely walk.”

I go downstairs and with perfect timing I see Jeff stroll in. All you can hear is both Hartman and Stephen in the background screaming, Jeff makes an eye roll and walks towards the kitchen, I follow.

“What’s happening?” Jeff whispers

“Stephen doesn’t want to go to the hospital for his surgery.” I replied

Jeff just says an “oh no” and starts to cook. Jeff looks defeated and tired he looks back and asks

“Are you good with fixing things? Can you help me fix the stair lift?”

I shake my head and say “Sorry can’t today” and just walk into the bathroom – just like Jeff…defeated. Here I was standing in the bathroom contemplating if I should just walk out and leave…find a new job. A part of me wanted to stay…wanting to see what will happen. The pay isn’t horrible and all I have to do is just be on the sidelines, keep my head down. You can do this, Will.

After what must’ve been 40 minutes, the fighting came to a halt and I was called up by Stephen in his room. Stephen tells me that we need to hurry that we’re going to the hospital for the surgery. I help pack his stuff and on the way out Hartman says “Good luck Stephen!” Stephen tells him to fuck off under his breath. We get in the car and he starts to bitch about Hartman – I had to ask Stephen – I needed to know.

I ask Stephen “What happened to the house? Mookie and River were left outside.”

Stephen replies, “Yeah that’s Bern, we had a fight when you left. He started to talk about my family and when I left to go upstairs he started throwing his famous tantrums. I didn’t know he left the dogs outside, I need to talk to him.”

Stephen puts his hand on his forehead looking all nervous as I’m trying my best to drive his 1993 (same year I was born) Jeep that seemed to have a mind on its own when breaking.

Stephen says, “Listen, Bern has a lot of problems you don’t even know half of it. It’s like he’s in his own planet sometimes.”

I reply, “Isn’t he a psychologist though? He’s still one right?

“Yeah he is and he’s a really good one. All his patients love him, most of them are actually surgeons. Bern is really smart and that’s also the problem he knows how to manipulate; he often views himself higher than everyone else. There are good days with Bern and I still care for him but God it’s impossible to live with him.”

I instantly ask, “Was he always like this? Does Blaise and Felix know about Hartman’s mental state?”

Stephen replies, “Who is Blaise and Felix?”  

“Ummm your kids?”

“We don’t have kids?” Stephen says.

“What?”

“Yeah we adopted a 16-year old that was in the foster system but he ran away when he was 18 years old. Wait what did he say?”

I replied, “He said you had two sons, both were doctors”

Stephen says without missing a beat, “It’s all made up”

Explains why there are no family pictures 

Stephen adds, “I still talk to Daniel through Facebook, he currently lives in Florida now and owns a children’s fitness center.”

“Does Bern talk to him?”

“No, not at all.”, Stephen sighs. I could see in the corner of my eye that he was shaking his head.

Stephen adds, “Bern is an interesting person. You wouldn’t believe some of the things he’s done.”

I had to ask, “What are some of them.”  I know I was being invasive but fuck it I need to know and I deserve to know.

“Did you notice the adult store we passed 5 minutes?”

I replied, “No, I didn’t see one?”

Stephen beings to tell me, “Well, there’s one along this highway that I believe is still running. One day, years ago, I get a call from Bern telling me that the car keys are locked in his car so I get in my car and drive to the address he gave and of course, it’s in front of the adult video store. Bern is panicking and tells me that he pulled over and went in the store because he thought he could make an investment and that was the only reason why he was there but of course that’s bullshit and I knew he went there for something else since he would use my credit card to buy tapes. I didn’t care, I was just mad he was lying to me.”

I started laughing pretty hard and Stephen for whatever reason couldn’t see the humor in it. With a stone cold face, he just says, “I’m serious.”

Stephen also tells me, “There was a time when I passed a motel and I saw Bern’s car in the parking lot. You can imagine what he was doing.”

I was surprised Stephen was telling me all this dirty laundry but it felt he was dying to vent all of this. Even seemed emotional, even though the stories were pretty hilarious, I tried my best to not laugh anymore. I take Stephen into the hospital and our little bonding time was coming to an end. Once they took him in and they had Stephen laying on the hospital bed, I started to feel bad he was all alone. No kids, no family, no crazy partner which apparently was more like a roommate, not even a house manager in sight just me. I felt guilty just leaving and I can tell he was scared, I offered to stay but he kept insisting for me to go home that he had his phone to keep him entertained. I don’t remember the name of the surgery but I knew it was a huge one and after the surgery, he would have to spend time at a facility to recover while doing some physical therapy.

The following day I get an email from Hartman

• W – I posted the email for the second house manager. Thank you for taking Stephen to the hospital- There’s a big project that Stephen and I want to be done. I want you and Jeff to remodel Stephen’s room, Stephen has wanted to do this for a long time but never had the energy to do so.

I noticed the email was sent to both Jeff and I and for the first time I look inside Stephen’s room. His room looked like someone who was a hoarder. Stephen’s room was small and bean-shaped Stephen, had a large office table stacked with papers, scattered even leaking onto the floor, a long file cabinet, and a small bed with papers and medications all across his bed, old wrappers cluttered his nightstand. Each wall had a different shade of white. Jeff and I just looked around not knowing where to start all I know whatever we do it’s going to be better than this shithole. The first thing we do is empty the file cabinet and as instructed by Dr. Hartman we bring it down to the cluttered basement which is pretty much a cemetery for old furniture. Took us days and days of organizing – sometimes I would have to do it myself since Jeff was busy doing Hartman’s house manager tasks. Stephen’s surgery was done and they took him to a facility in which he was staying for a while. Hartman would have me bring snacks or anything else Stephen requested to his facility. It did seem Hartman was a lot happier having Stephen away – he still complained about Jeff but now it was a lot less. I wasn’t scheduling Hartman’s patients anymore, Bern told me until Stephen gets better he’ll pause his practice. Knowing the extent of Hartman’s craziness I was able to be more careful on sharing any information, we still had our talks and it went back to interesting conversations and for a change, he was talking more kindly about Stephen. Bern called him multiple times of the day often putting an alarm in order to wake himself just so he can call Stephen. It was a complete juxtaposition from last time but again I just kept on working in Stephens room, trying to finish it.

After a hard day’s work of sorting through all his papers which seemed endless and honestly, you can throw about 99% of them away but for whatever reason Stephen had to hoard them. I started to head out but before leaving I had to take a well deserve piss. When I open the door I jump in horror thinking I just saw a dead rat. I thought to myself, “what the fuck was that thing.”  They were three of them all scattered across the sink. I poke it only to find out their hairpieces. Makes sense why he’s always wearing a beanie when I can come in while he’s lying in bed and why he takes hours in the bathroom-. I’m not judging and when he wears them I couldn’t tell, I just thought it was a shitty hairstyle. I couldn’t help myself and I wanted to try one on, I put one on and end up looking like Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber. I stack another and then another one and oh look at that I found one more, I’ll just slap it on. I took a selfie which ended up later being one of my tinder photos. “Will! Can you come here please?” asks Hartman from the other room. Like a Jenga tower all the toupees fall down, I rush putting them all back to place on the sink. I enter Hartman’s room seeing that he has a beanie on, “Before you go I just want to let you know I think I found the second house manager she’s going to be here tomorrow. I’ve been going back and forth with her, she seems really nice! Jeff is going to train her tomorrow, let me know what you think.”

The following day I’m painting Stephen’s room green (I didn’t pick the ugly color – Bern did) a project Jeff was supposed to help me but it’s not his fault he’s not assisting me. At some point, I go downstairs and meet the second house manager, she’s white, short 5’2, around my age, early 20s, and has an eye that seems to be almost popping out – maybe it was a medical condition like Bern’s balls. Her name was Cassie (I don’t remember her name I’ll just call her that) and it seemed she was doing a good job since Hartman told me he really liked her food and it seems both Jeff and Cassie were getting along. Cassie picks up the routine fairly quickly, quick enough where she’s doing the routine and Jeff can now help me with Stephens room. The room was finally painted, now we just had to arrange everything and put together some new furniture together. Jeff seemed happy and even expressed how less stressful this all was ever since Cassie joined. I was also happy with how things were calmer and it even seemed my list of things to do was getting shorter. A few days pass and Bern calls Cassie and I to come up to his room. Bern is already sitting up on his bed, shirtless eating whatever Cassie made looking happy and excited. Hartman asks, “Will, how’s Cassie doing?” 

I reply, “She’s doing great! I think Cassie is adjusting fairly quickly.”

“Cassie, now that it seems you got everything in check do you need Jeff to train you anymore?”

Cassie replies, “No, I got it.”

Hartman quickly says, “Okay good I’m going to get rid of Jeff. He’s downstairs right?”

“Wait, why are you getting rid of Jeff? I thought you wanted two house managers?”  

Hartman looks at me and says, “No, I just said that so he can train Cassie. Look, ever since he started to drink again I’ve been worried about him getting violent”

“Jeff isn’t drinking though?” I said

“Will, I’m sorry but I saw it with my own eyes.” –  Hartman says,

I stare at Hartman in disbelief covered in paint stains.

“I agree with Dr. Hartman, I don’t see him work that much and if he’s drinking it might be a problem.” Says Cassie

Wow never knew Cassie could be a bitch.

Hartman says while eating, “Call Jeff up”

On my way down I see Jeff in the kitchen and tell him Hartman is calling you up. I grab my jacket and walk out to go home. That’s the last time I ever see Jeff.

The next day I email Dr. Hartman saying I’m taking off because I’m not feeling well. I felt shitty when he fired Jeff and I know I’m definitely going to be next but I vow to myself not to become friends with any house managers or in fact anyone in this house. Just going to keep to myself, stay my distance while collecting the check from this crazy doctor until my debt is gone.

Entering the door, I’m greeted by both dogs of which I’ve grown fond of unlike the odor from the house that I’ll never get fond of. I make way to the kitchen and there is Cassie, she’s pacing all over the kitchen frantically. She’s sweating and looks at me and tells me to look at the paper on the kitchen table. The paper was a typed-out email from Hartman pretty much complaining about her cleaning and her cooking. I look up at her and said “Maybe a second house manager was needed” Cassie starts complaining about Hartman’s demands and explained to me how she has anxiety and that she can’t deal with him. Hartman was awake and kept calling Cassie up every 10 minutes torturing her. I broke down and had to help her it seemed like she was on the verge of dying. In about an hour or so I had to go pick up Stephen from the facility so I did my best in the meantime but I jetted out once it was my time to leave. Last thing I remembered before leaving was Hartman calling Cassie to come up.

Stephen is sitting in the passenger seat of his Jeep, talking on the phone with one of his brothers once he gets off I tell him that Jeff got fired, he screams “oh no what the fuck!” Immediately he calls Hartman on the phone and asks did you fire Jeff? Bern says, “Yes, but don’t worry I found someone better.” Who – Steve asks.

“This woman named Cassie, Will can tell you how great she is. It was actually Will’s idea for Cassie to be the only house manager.” I can hear all of this through the speakerphone. I explain to Stephen that’s not true. When we get home the kitchen is a mess, food is left on the pan, plates were dirty, and no Cassie insight. Apparently, Cassie just left out of the blue while I was gone getting Stephen. Stephen looks around in sheer disbelief – I look through the window to see Cassies car but nope she left.

I won’t lie I got pretty excited, especially since I was right, this was the calm before the storm. Stephen grabs the remote for the chair lift to come down as he waits on the wheelchair. The chairlift stops midway again – the chairlift fiasco was never solved. Stephen throws the remote on the ground which gets him to scream because of, well you know the back surgery. I pick up the remote and after going back and forth on the chair it finally comes down. I fold Stephens wheelchair and bring it up to the second floor which it can hardly fit. Stephen did enough physical therapy so he’s able to use the walker but not for a very long time before he starts to fall over. Stephen opens his room, pokes his head inside, and starts to cry. Stephen starts to head over to Bern’s room but instead this time he’s using a cane instead of his go to walker for whatever reason. Stephen starts yelling at Dr. Hartman calling Hartman all the names in the book saying how he ruined his room and firing Jeff was the worse decision he’s ever made. Hartman starts yelling, “Cassie is here Stephen! She’s better than that drunk, what’s wrong with you?!” Hartman proceeds to yell for Cassie not realizing she quit. Stephen storms out and heads downstairs without using the chair lift. Stephen stumbles down slowly while Hartman leaves his room using his walker screaming for Stephen to come back. It’s the slowest most intense chase I’ve ever witnessed. My back is pushed against the wall watching everything unravel wishing I had popcorn. Stephen manages to make it all the way downstairs screaming that he’s leaving this house. Hartman sits on the chair lift as it slowly takes him down but luckily it doesn’t stop halfway down. I keep my distance and go down the steps watching as Hartman growls while grabbing his walker.

“You’re not well Stephen…you never were. Your family did this to you Stephen, your father never even called you once while you were in surgery. You fucking Kike.”

Didn’t know Hartman was anti-Semitic until now but I wasn’t surprised. I sit on the couch as if it was a movie, Stephen grabbing his jacket from the coat hanger as Hartman continues to rant about his family going on and on on how all his family members should die and that Stephen is too much of a coward to do anything about it . Around the 10^th kike was the one that got Stephen to throw his cane towards Hartman and by throw, I mean barely making a few inches, landing nowhere near Hartman but it was enough for Hartman to “fall” onto the ground and act as though the cane hit him. The fall looked like he was trying to sit on the floor while a metal pipe was shoved up his ass, an extremely slow fall that only the world’s worse actor can create. When Hartman gets on the floor he screams out Stephens name and then my name. “Will!” I walk towards Hartman and ask him if he’s okay, trying to give my best concerning voice ever. The front door slams and Stephen ends up leaving the house. I help Hartman up while River runs up and starts trying to lick Hartmans face. Hartman screams and pushes the dog away.

“I need my insulin quick! Take me to the kitchen now!”

As we’re walking to the kitchen he keeps whispering “not again” over and over like a madman. Hartman sits down and I open the fridge and grab one of his insulin pens. After he injects himself and checks his glucose levels he sits there with his eyes closed, again saying “not again”. I get the clue the show is over and awkwardly say, “Alright Bern I’m going to head home.”   

Hartman says, “ Will, please I need your help I’ll pay extra please! You need to get my laptop it’s on my bed and we need to post the ad for the house manager again, please. I should be logged in to my craigslist account just go upstairs and repost it. I’m going to try to call Cassie. Please!” Says Hartman with eyes still shut.

I agree and go upstairs, easy money just reposts some dumb ad. I open his personal laptop, one that I’ve hardly used and I’m introduced to what seems like an endless amount of tabs from his Chrome browser. They were a few craigslist tabs and after clicking on one I noticed they were ones I probably shouldn’t have opened. Way back when craigslist used to have a “personal” section in which a bunch of horny people would create ads for hookups. It was the internet’s bathroom stall. I’ll admit I went on the personal section when I was young and horny however I quickly found out the women for men or w4m section was practically empty or filled with scams. I guess the personal section was more “gay-friendly”. The tab was a post obviously written by Dr. Hartman saying, “Looking for a younger guy to get blown by an older man, daddy type. Into urine play please be able to cum a lot – very discreet. Please send pictures.” I wondered how Hartman finds the time to bring these guys in – if he gets any applicants. How is he sneaking them past Steve it’s not like he’s mobile and able to go to a motel or hell, even to the basement. That’s when it hits me like a ton of bricks a flashback of Steve saying to Hartman, “You don’t see your patients.” I start to question everything; have I just been scheduling cock sucking appointments this whole time? No, that’s impossible I’ve seen some of his patients, yes a lot are male but some are female and there’s a kid patient with a parent. No way that’s possible!

 I had to investigate, I looked through all the other tabs, some were gay porn, others were searches about random stuff, news, political shit, etc. Wasn’t until I got to the tab that had his email open, an email that I’ve never seen before but the real kicker was the name of the email had the name, Felix followed by random numbers…remember Felix his imaginary Swedish surgeon son or I guess it’s his alter ego as well.  A bunch of Craiglist emails in his account, I open a few of them which is a response to his ad.  I click on the sent category and see the ones he responded to and unfortunately I was somewhat correct. One of the emails was instructing this dude to email Hartman’s other email and to schedule an appointment. “My assistant will add you in just say you’re here for a session. Schedule at this time ____” Great, so I was booking cock sucking appointments, at least not all of them were fake but I’m confused that’s supposed to be an office for patients apparently it’s also a sex dungeon. I look at all the messages he’s sent and seems like he’s been doing this for a long time. I hear the chair lift going up, I open a new tab and repost the house manager in his account. Hartman had to know I would see this right? Everything is just out in the open, no way he wasn’t expecting me to find out his perverse life. His craigslist ad history is mainly filled with ads that he’s posted looking for guys to get their dicks sucked or house manager’s ads. This explains why I never see any reply from the house manager position in his other more “professional” email.

The person coming up in the chair lift was Stephen, he came back inside, I guess he didn’t make it far. All I hear is Stephen’s door shut close. I don’t think he knows I’m still here because I started to hear him talk to himself – screaming about how he wants to kill Hartman while laughing. Hearing Stephen laugh to himself spooked me enough to decide it’s a good time to leave. I don’t say goodbye to Hartman on my way out however before exiting the door the last thing I see from across the living room is Hartman still sitting at the kitchen table with his eyes closed. 

I get an email explaining Hartman’s nephew is going to stay over for a while and help around the house until they find a new house manager. Hartman asks if I’m able to do some light house manager tasks until his nephew comes in three days. All I have to do is make scrambled eggs and light cleaning for some extra money.  I couldn’t tell If Hartman really had a nephew or this was just another lie conducted by his imagination. For the next three days, I was their little maid, minus the cute outfit. I washed the dishes, took out the trash, fed the dogs, and cleaned the kitchen counter while also scheduling his cock appointments whoops sorry I mean “therapy sessions”. On the second day, the list seemed endless, what made it worse was that I haven’t slept properly and I was already getting tired of being a “house manager”, one of the tasks that I needed to complete was to fill up the salt jar. Easy enough – I decide to do it last, right before I’m leaving as I’m driving away I quickly turn the car around and start racing back. I’m pretty sure I accidentally poured sugar into the salt shake, I’m trying to replay what I just did in my head. If Hartman was already awake and downstairs he’s most likely going to die from an overdose of sugar. The way he pours salt all over his eggs will be enough to put him in a coma – well I think anyways I’m not sure how it works. When I arrive at Hartman’s place I open the door and thankfully both of them are still upstairs. I can hear them arguing, I walk into the kitchen, pour the salt shaker, clean it and fill it up correctly with salt. That was a close one as I look to the left I see the trash is filled up. Throwing out the trash wasn’t on my list of things to do but might as well just do it since I’m going to have to deal with it tomorrow. I grab the trash and head towards the backyard, opening the gate which leads to outside the garage. As I put the trash in the bin I feel some large animal run by me, I quickly turn revealing Mookie. We make eye contact and I inch my way forward trying to call Mookie over but instead, he wags his tail and runs off. I don’t blame the dog; who the hell wouldn’t want to escape, I can tell he’s been itching for freedom. I chased Mookie all through Mount Tabor, going through backyards running around in the street. For a fat dog, he’s fast and I’m losing hope I’ll catch him. At some point I end up losing him, I’m tired from running up and down the hills and don’t know how long I should be doing this before I start creating missing dog posters. After frantically searching all over the place I see Mookie on someone’s front lawn. Mookie looks at me and instantly starts bolting away but thankfully some random person out of the blue grabs Mookie and I run over and grab him by the collar trying to walk him back. When I bring Mookie back I see River at the front door unfortunately I also see Hartman slowly coming down from his chair lift. The words fuck and have to get out here played over and over in my head. I put my hand on the doorknob…so close until I hear a “Hey Will is that you?” I look behind and see him sitting on the chair lift finally reaching the bottom. “Yes, I just forgot something. I’m on my way out.” I said while trying to control my breathing so it doesn’t sound like I just ran a marathon.

“Do you want something to eat? I was thinking about ordering food? Want to watch a movie.” Hartman says as he stands over his walker.

“No, you know what I have to meet my parents tonight.” I said, stuttering through the sentence just trying to get the fuck out there.

Hartman says okay and to have a goodnight, finally, I have the weekend to recover. I’m a horrible “house manager” and honestly I’m proud to say I’m a horrible house manager because who the fuck would want to be a house manager at least his nephew, Andrew should be there soon to take over the house manager duties (if he is real never asked Stephen for a confirmation.)

Turns out Andrew is real and on Monday he’s at Hartman’s place – one day earlier than expected. Andrew is 15 years old, 5’6, short dark hair, slender with an extremely deep voice. Like radio host type of voice – sounds like a 40-year-old man, he must have gotten it from Hartman’s balls. Andrew introduces himself and somehow the kid seems normal. Although Andrew is young he’s intelligent and we seem to kick it off, he’s fully aware of how crazy Bern is and how strange Stephen is. Later, he tells me that Stephen hates him for no reason and Hartman could be really creepy at times – within a short span of a couple of hours Andrew told me practically everything about him. The fact his mother is an alcoholic and his father is almost absent in his life besides an occasional phone call. This all explains why he’s willing to live with Hartman, he has nowhere else to go. I ask if he’s attending high school and he says no – not at the moment.

The next couple of weeks weren’t bad having Andrew around, I went back as an “assistant” but instead of dealing with patients and whores for scheduling or answering emails, I was doing more organizing and helping Stephen. In fact, it seemed I was now Stephens’s assistant. Andrew was doing all the house manager stuff while also keeping Hartman entertained since he had nowhere else to go. I would hear them laughing downstairs, watching movies as I was upstairs with Stephen. Hartman was procrastinating finding a house manager – I can tell, but it didn’t bother me as long as his slave, whoops I meant nephew kept on doing all the shitty work. The more time I spent with Stephen in his room – the weirder it got. I was helping him find papers for his taxes to bring to his accountant when he dropped a truth bomb.

“I can’t stand Hartman anymore I’m seriously thinking of just building a house and living there. You know we own land, a foundation over at green pond, I’ve owned it for about 10 years. I’m always paying property taxes on it and yet I never sell it or build on it, it’s just there. I don’t want to live in this shit town anymore. I hate the people; I hate how we’re all on top of one another. I need space.” Stephen says as he scrambles through his medication.

I ask Stephen, “Why have you stayed with Hartman this long if he treats you like this?”

“Look at me I can hardly move and I still care for Hartman even though I don’t think I’m gay.”

My head perks up, “Wait what. You’re not gay?”

Stephen says, “I’m not sure. I never was, I did love Hartman but I don’t know if I’m gay. I can’t tell.”

I don’t know how one can’t tell their sexuality, especially a person that’s close to his 70s but the more he talked about it the more emotional he seemed to get.  Stephen also kept telling me how much he just wants to kill himself but doesn’t have the courage to do so. I’m starting to wonder if he’s asking me to smother him with a pillow or something well he’s going to have to pay a little extra if he is. Stephen starts telling me how Andrew and Hartman stay up all night and both of them just won’t shut the fuck up, he tells me Andrew is seriously messed up that he has a severe case of OCD, a narcissistic personality, and might even be a sociopath. I’m looking at Stephen as if he has two heads because so far my interaction with Andrew was not like that at all. I grew to even like the kid, we both found Hartman’s screaming and fighting to be hilarious. Over time I started to see Andrew was wearing down mentally, one day I go in and Andrew tells me he just can’t do it anymore. Andrew explains that both Hartman and Stephen see him as a slave 24/7, he’s always running around grabbing or cleaning even hours after I left. Andrew told me the fighting with Hartman and Stephen got so bad that one of the neighbors called the cops. Stephen apparently slapped Hartman while Hartman kept screaming “Stephen was sundowning.” I’m not sure what the cops told them but it seemed like no one was arrested.

“You need to help me get out of here. I have some money saved, can you drive me to an airport?” Andrew says standing in the kitchen. As much as I wanted to help Andrew I knew I couldn’t help a minor runaway so I offered the second best thing I can do.

I tell Andrew, “Look, I can’t help you runaway but I can try to get a house manager so you’re not slaving away here. Do you have anywhere else to stay?”

Andrew replies, “No, not really. I could stay at my father’s but I rather not have to sleep on the floor in his studio apartment.”

I almost forgot Andrew is sleeping in Hartman’s office AKA the cock sucking lair. I don’t have the heart to tell the kid, I just hope he doesn’t pull out a UV light at any point.

Andrew tells me, “You know over the weekend, I had to help Bern go upstairs because his chair lift got stuck midway and when I got to the top he rubbed my back as if he was giving me a massage. It was fucking weird.”

After Andrew told me that it was enough to break my vow that I made to myself, to never get involved but now I feel like if I don’t do anything I’ll be responsible, if this kid gets raped.

I tell Andrew, “Look, I’ll look for a house manager, and for the time being you should look for a retail job or any job so it gives you an excuse to leave during the day and sleep at night. Try to avoid Bern if he is up.”

Andrew says, “That’s almost impossible, if not Bern, Stephen will want something from me. They’ll just keep bugging me until I respond.”

When I went upstairs to help with Stephens office I try telling him what happened to Andrew and how he’s just a kid. Stephen basically shrugs his shoulder like it’s nothing and continues to complain how the little shit is always complaining. Stephen also complains about how Bern is always forced to give him an allowance. The one thing I was able to get Stephen on the same page was the fact they needed a new house manager, I told him Andrew sucks at cleaning and cooking and that they should get someone with experience. It was the only way for him to listen, I get permission from Stephen to create the ad. I also email Hartman informing him I reposted the house manager ad from his laptop.  Throughout the next couple of days, Hartman interviewed a couple of people and with Andrews help they found someone. I had to take a couple of days off since I was genuinely sick but when I returned I was greeted by the smell of scrambled eggs and the sounds of someone walking in the kitchen. When I entered the kitchen I saw a 6’2 Arabic guy that looked like he ate steroids for breakfast and dinner. His shirt looked like it was going to break and he was on his way to compete in Mr. Olympia. This wasn’t a shocker at all, why Hartman would pick this dude but I was a little scared how badly he’s going to react when he inevitably gets fired. His face looks tough but when he opens his mouth I’m shocked by his voice. The voice didn’t match his look at all, very high and friendly. His name is Rakan and he tells me how he just started working here recently. Andrew walks in the kitchen, looking like he just woke up.

“Hey Will are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, I see you guys found a house manager.” I reply.

I hear the dreaded sound of the chair going down. I look at Andrew and he pulls the “oh shit” look on his face. There comes Hartman slowly coming in with his walker, he looks mad. Looks at me for a second and says a quick, hi. Hartman sits at the kitchen table not saying a word which is really unusual. Hartman looks at the fork and spoons placed on the table and grabs them and rearranges them while saying, “Fucking shit” under his breath. 

“Uh is the food done Rakan?” says Hartman with his eyes closed

Andrew and I are watching this unfold, both of u know this isn’t going to end well at all. Rakan tells Hartman he’s almost done all while Rakan trying his hardest to have a conversation with Hartman but Hartman won’t respond just sitting there with his eyes closed. I look at Rakan and his hand was shaking as he pours the scrambled eggs onto the plate, I can see the sweat run down his forehead, his face red. I can feel the tension, this was the make it or break it moment. Hartman opens his eyes and grabs a taste of the eggs, Rakan was confident enough to say, “It’s good isn’t it?”

Hartman says, “Yes, it’s good. Good for the dogs, maybe.” Hartman tells Andrew to put the eggs on the floor and split it for River and Mookie that he’s going to order food instead. Rakan looks down and I walk away, I couldn’t take the cringe anymore. I make my way up to Stephens room, knowing that Rakans days are numbered. Andrew was the only thing able to keep Hartman from firing Rakan. Andrew told me all Hartman would do is bitch about Rakan and me throughout the night. Andrew also told me that not only does Hartman think I’m gay but that I’m working with Stephen and his family in order to get rid of Hartman since I was helping Stephen a lot in his room.  After a week from the Rakan incident, I get an email from Bern Hartman saying,

Will, Do you have any friends that are around 6’0, 160 – 170’bs, white, dark hair, slender type with nice biceps that wants to be blown for $100 dollars? Please email me back soon and let me know.

Probably the funniest email he’s sent while giving a perfect description of myself. I don’t email back and on Sunday I get another email saying.

Will, please reply, I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about friends please grow up. Please reply.

I don’t reply again.  I get an email 6 am Monday morning.

Will, I said reply is your email broken? 

When I go to Hartman’s house he never brings it up in fact when I see him he’s all happy like nothing was ever sent. That was just the beginning of the weird emails – Before leaving he asked me to craft him up a sandwich since Rakan forgot to make one. I quickly slab on some bread with turkey but the following night I get an email reading,

YOUR SANDWICHS ARE VERY JEWISH

(He post two dick pictures – one uncircumcised and the other covered in foreskin. Right next to the picture he goes “LOL – DON’T MAKE IT JEWISH NEXT TIME. RAKAN IS THE SAME WAY!!!!!)

Rakan and Bern have been getting closer especially since both of them are now eating with each other after 3 pm. Rakan stays later since he’s slower than previous house managers so now he takes the role as Hartman’s friend. During the next few months, some things changed, Andrew is no longer sleeping in Hartman’s therapy room, he’s now sleeping on the living room couch but for 3 days of the week he now stays over at his father’s house. Andrew found out about what goes on in Hartman’s office after by accidentally telling him one. Hartman was just seeing one “patient”, one day of the week, a patient that I didn’t have to schedule. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I had to contact a patient for him. One day Andrew and I were putting together a piece of furniture in the living room during the evening when we hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Both Andrew and I look and it’s some 20-year-old with his head down rushing out of the house. Both of us just look at each other and laugh. I’ll admit it started to get fun when Andrew and I would mess with Rakan.  I gave Andrew five bucks to tell Rakan that Hartman requested to give him a foot massage while sleeping. Rakan’s reaction wasn’t anything funny since he just shook his head, yes, I had to tell him we were joking since I felt bad that this guy would practically do anything for the job. I liked Rakan but he was reserved but it was admirable that he was willing to almost do anything. Rakan was a nursing student determined to get as much cash as possible to help pay his student loan and steroids.

Andrew would see the emails Hartman sent to Rakan since Andrew became fascinated with Hartmans absurdities. 

I go to work one day and notice for the first time I didn’t receive an annoying email from Hartman but I thought maybe he was busy with Andrew or something. When I get to the house there wasn’t Rakan or Andrew in sight just a blanket on the couch. I go upstairs and knock on Stephens door…nothing…I knock again and slowly I open to see there’s no one there. “Dr. Hartman?” I say as  I walk towards Hartman’s room, I hear no reply, I stick my head inside, and there’s no Hartman in insight.  I Go inside the garage and Stephens Jeep is missing. I could call Stephen or Hartman but I just enjoyed the fact I can go home. I really didn’t feel like working actually I never feel like working I’ll take any excuse. I grab my jacket but I hear the garage door open and a car parking inside. In comes Stephen, alone using his walker. I ask Stephen what happened and he tells me to sit at the kitchen table he needs to tell me something. Looked like Stephen was crying, he sits down and tells me that last night Dr. Hartman had a heart attack, the ambulance came and took him to the hospital. Currently, he’s in the ICU and they don’t know if he’ll make it. Stephen told me he dropped Andrew off at his father’s place. I tried my hardest to look concerned and sad but my performance was lacking that day, I couldn’t get the energy to act. I thought this was the end of Dr. Hartman and the end of my employment, it was fun while it lasted but I was ready to move on Plus Stephen had Rakan and Andrew.

Stephen says, “One other thing Will, I let go Rakan this morning.” 

What the fuck? I was shocked by the sheer stupidity especially coming from Stephen. Stephen proceeds to tell me, “Rakan was never good at his job and it was a waste of money. You were the only good employee we ever had. Just for the time being while Hartman is in the hospital, can you take over the role of being house manager. Just light cleaning, you’ll still do some assistant work – I’ll pay you extra.”

I ask Stephen, “What about Andrew, I’m sure he’ll do it.”

Stephen says, “Andrew is worthless and I don’t trust him, I trust you. Plus, I want you to help me build a house at the green pond property. You’ll be a project manager.”

I pause for a minute and contemplate, yes Stephen is hard to work with but way easier than Hartman plus let’s face it Hartman is probably going to be a goner pretty soon. Hartman already seemed to be on his last legs. I agree to the offer.

It was a nice relief not getting any more annoying emails from Hartman and it felt like some sort of negative energy was missing from the house. It was quiet when I would go in from now on. My daily tasks looked something like cleaning, taking out the garbage, getting zoning permits, finding an architect, Call and scheduling an appointment to fix the chair life, taking Stephen to Hartman in the ICU – Even though  Stephen kept putting off visiting Hartman, finally after what feels like a week or so Stephen was determined to visit Bern. Stephen packed some things for Bern, I look in the bag and see a toupee and makeup. I didn’t know Hartman wore makeup but again not surprised.

When we enter his room in the ICU I see Bern laying there with a tube in his mouth, it was weird seeing him this still for so long. Hartman’s toupee was pushed to the side it was the same one he wore before having the heart attack. His tape holding the toupee was now exposed and it just looked incredibly silly. Stephen walks over to Hartman, crying. He takes his old toupee off and tries putting the new one along with some fresh tape. I can tell he doesn’t know how to put it on and the more he’s trying to put it on the more frustrated Stephen was getting. The toupee kept falling off and I didn’t have the heart to tell him he had it on backwards. It looks like a bowl cut with someone who just grew a huge forehead. Stephen kisses Hartman on the forehead which was enough force for the toupee to fall on the floor. I grab the toupee on the floor and just put it on his head. Stephen says, “Thank you.” Stephen starts to talk to Hartman as he lays their unconscious. As we head back to the car, Stephen tells me that he feels like driving –  no problem.

As we approach the driveway Stephens neighbor is blocking his entrance. The streets are already narrow as it is and Stephen can’t fit his ’93 Jeep, he hits his hand on the steering wheel out of frustration. A woman standing next to the same car blocking the driveway was smoking a cigarette. Stephen opens his window and immediately starts screaming, “You fucking cunt I told you not to block my fucking driveway. How many times do I have to tell you, you fat fucking bitch!” I never heard Stephen scream this loud this includes all the fights he had with Hartman.

Stephen continues, “I know you’re the one who called the cops before! You really want to fuck with me?!” The woman is trying to respond but Stephen won’t let her, she legitimately looks scared. I slowly lower myself into the seat out of second-hand embarrassment and I also don’t want to appear on a Youtube video. Stephen opens his garage and starts to drive, scraping against the stone wall on the right side. Stephen accelerates the car into the garage and stops short causing me to hit my head on the headrest while Stephen calls the woman a bitch. I tell Stephen I’m going to head home, that I’m a bit tired and that he should rest. Stephen apologizes and I end up going home early.

After that day Stephen seems to sleep more and sink into deeper depressed state. Weeks go by, and surprise Hartman is still alive. Hartman has been recovering at the hospital and was planning to go home in a couple of days. During Hartmans rehabilitation, I’ve gotten the permits, found an architect that Stephen was planning to meet. Things were progressing but I knew it was all going to crash once Hartman came home. I haven’t seen Andrew since Hartman’s heart attack but as I was cleaning the plates over the sink I hear a door open and it was Andrew and his mom pushing Hartman inside the house in a wheelchair. I’ve never seen Andrews’ mom before and she didn’t even bother to acknowledge my existence. Andrews mom helped Bern onto the chair lift, taking him on to the second floor. Andrew’s mother tells Hartman that she’s leaving and has to go pick up his daughter while also explaining Andrew will be staying for a few weeks to take care of Hartman. Andrew looks depressed but seems somewhat happy to see me. Andrew comes downstairs and tells me that Hartman wants to see me upstairs. When I go upstairs Hartman is out of breath sitting on the bed. Hartman asks me “Where did Rakan go?” and I explain that Stephen let him go. Hartman closes his eyes and a tear rolls down. Hartman whispers, “We need to stop Stephen’s family…we need to stop Stephen, his dementia is getting worse. Oh god. Oh god. I’m going to die here aren’t I what am I going to do.” Hartman opens his eyes and says, “Thank you Will…Thank you for everything. I need to tell you something that I told Andrew, when I died I saw a group of hooded men in a circle dancing, around me. I felt alive, I’m planning to write a book about my experience. Will, you’re a mensch (I didn’t know that word at the time).” I just nod awkwardly and say, “no problem” and proceed to leave the room.

During the time from Hartman’s return – things went from 0 to 100 fairly quickly. Hartman somehow became even crazier. The emails got even crueler. One day I get an email accusing me of stealing batteries from the TV remote another email, I’m working against him and that secretly I’m Jewish, oh and got another of him asking if I’m seeing anyone in a relationship, another email complaining that I don’t talk to him anymore. These emails seemed to mean nothing because when I would see him the next day he would act as if nothing happened. The fights between Stephen and Hartman became more brutal, they would even fight in front of the nurse that came in to help assist Hartman for a few hours. Things were thrown, hurtful shit were said to one another, all while Andrew and I just hang back and watched the show. The whole house project came to a halt after Hartman told Stephen that he has no right to build a house until he’s able to get all the money from his Jew father, to pay it. Hartman started to make weird animal noises throughout the day almost like a growling noise as if he was slowly becoming another beast. Often times I would come in and see drawn swastikas scattered all over the floor. There was something weirdly fun watching someone go deep into insanity. Now every time I would talk with Hartman before leaving it was always some new conspiracy about Stephen and his “Jew” family. Now, instead of trying to convince me that Stephen has dementia, he was trying to convince me that Stephen was a master manipulator and that his MS is an exaggeration. None of this ever bothered me I just sat down amused. Andrew on the other hand was losing his mind. Anytime I had to go to the store he was dying to come along with me always ranting about Hartman and Stephen. The kid had no other interaction, it’s been over two weeks and still, he’s staying at Hartman with no way out. Hartman started writing long emails to Andrew even though Andrew was in the other room, I read some of them in which they say “Don’t trust Will – Andrew you’re slacking in your work. You need to go to therapy ASAP.”

The fun was coming to an end and it started to get sad hearing Hartman growl and cry in his room every day or fighting with Stephen. Getting an email in the middle of the night either sexually harassing me or accusing me of stealing or creating an anti-Hartman movement was only funny until it became pathetic and sad. I went to Stephen and told him that I’m moving on and I’ll stay for only two weeks so he can have time to get a new house manager. I didn’t want to leave because I knew I was the only thread keeping Stephen still functioning – I was picking up both their meds and making sure their pets didn’t shit all over the floor or die of hunger. Stephen tried to convince me to stay – even telling me he’ll up my pay but I kept refusing. Stephen looked sad but understood. During the 2 weeks, I made it my mission to also look for a job for Andrew so he can get the hell out of here. I helped Andrew create a resume and bullshit his experience so he’ll get something. Dr. Hartman was apparently angry at me after Stephen told him I’m leaving, I did not  receive an email from Hartman for a couple of days until I got one reading, “New house manager coming in today – please train her. You can leave after three days – never come back. Traitor.” “Okay” I reply.

The doorbell rings the next day and there stands the new contender for house manager. A woman in her 40’s named Rashida, she had an English accent, beautiful, loud, but after she told me she has years of experience in cooking I thought maybe she would have a chance to make it. I didn’t care though. she just had to stay until I left. Rashida reminded of Gordon Ramsey – she told me she used to be a big-time cook in England, moved to the states after marrying some wall street guy but she became bored staying home and being a stay-at-home mom. Once I tried her cooking I fell in love with her…her food was amazing. Unfortunately, even though I enjoyed her she only lasted for two days. Rashida brought up scrambled eggs to Hartman that looked like it was for royalty and when Hartman tasted the eggs he was amazed at how great it was. When Hartman went downstairs and saw that the kitchen wasn’t spotless he started to have a freak out towards Rashida and I. Rashida didn’t take it kindly she called him “Mental” and said a nice “fuck you” before storming out. I looked out the window and watched her leave as I think to myself there’s no God.

I walk out soon after getting about six calls from Dr. Hartman and one from Stephen. That night I get a long email explaining how much of a good person I am that I’m part of the family. Hartman explains that I’m more of an angel than a human. It seemed he was trying to use all his manipulation skills but I ignored it until I got an email from Stephen saying to just come in for one hour and he’ll give me a $100 . That was the right kind of manipulation to motivate me to go in. Stephen tells me to come in the evening and when I go inside around 6 pm I see Hartman and Stephen all sitting in the living room with no Andrew insight. It seemed like I was about to get an intervention. Didn’t take Hartman long for him to cry and plead for me to stay that he promises things will get better. I try to explain I found another job but I’m interrupted again by Hartman’s cry for help. Stephen finally tells Hartman to shut up, that was enough to trigger Hartman for him to start ranting about Stephens family. Stephen grabs his cane and gets up and close to Hartmans face and says, “This is why Will and everyone leaves!” Hartman looks emotionless and whispers to me saying, “See, this is the dementia I was talking about” Stephen throws his hand up and walks away towards the chair lift. I look at my phone waiting for it to be an hour to collect my $100 but only 15 minutes passed by. Stephen turns around and says “Hey since my family doesn’t do anything how about you call yours. Call your sons huh.” Bern turns red in the face and yells, “Stephen you need help ASAP! You’re getting worse and worse every day.” Hartman gets up with his walker and walks towards Stephen. Another intense chase…sign me up. The walker has a little seat in the middle for Hartman to sit on which I always found it funny when Hartman would sit on his walker because he looked like a toddler sitting on one of those baby seats as his legs kicks in the wind, not touching the ground. Stephen is sitting on the chair lift but he’s not going up, both of them are going at it until I hear a vibration noise coming from Hartmans way. Sounded more like a bubble bursting. I guess none of them heard it because it didn’t stop them from fighting each other and I question that maybe it was in my head but the smell of shit hits me and I guess it hit Stephen as well because he stopped yelling all of a sudden he used the chair to jet out of there. Hartman got up and started to rush over to the smaller bathroom near the kitchen. There I was just sitting there with only 30 minutes going by. I go home as Hartman leaves. I never got my $100. My grandmother was sick at the time, she was on her death bed during that period so either way, I didn’t have time to deal with this job anymore. I emailed Hartman telling him my situation with my grandmother and wished him luck in finding a house manager, I forward it to Stephen as well. I tried to be as nice as possible in the email. From then on I would get emails almost every day from Hartman. Long emails trying to get in my head. He sent an email saying I have the Dark Triad, and underneath a long article with multiple studies that he highlighted. I never responded – the emails were entertaining but they started to get dangerous. One email he accuses me of “grooming” Andrew and the next email apologizing for Stephen and his family. Wasn’t until months later I get an email from Stephen saying he’ll pay me $500 to come in and help for one day. River had gotten a tumor and they were planning to put him down since she was in pain. Stephen wanted me to put candles and to help bring River up into Berns room where the vet will give River the injection. I accept but this time I wasn’t leaving until I get my money. I see Andrew once again and he tells me that he’s living with his sister and that he’s working at an ice cream store. I asked how much Stephen is going to give him and he said, “Nothing, Stephen said you’ll be here and I had nothing to do.” When I go inside Hartman’s house I see an older woman that’s now the new house manager and River laying there with a huge tumor on her lower stomach. The tumor almost looked like Hartman’s balls. Hartman was in the bathroom and I didn’t see him yet, Stephen was still in his room. The instructions were clear we had to set up candles and flower pedals they bought. as well as a framed picture of River and a framed poem that I didn’t bother to read. Finally, Stephen comes out and looks happy to see me and tells me the veterinarian is coming soon that we should start bringing River up to the second floor. It felt like River knew she was going to die, it used to be easy to get her to go anywhere and for the most part, she was obedient but this time it was a hassle for her to go upstairs. River wanted to play and was happy to be around us but for whatever reason didn’t want to go upstairs. Both of us carried her up onto the bed and gave River her favorite snacks. The vets rang the doorbell and the new house manager let them in directing to Hartmans room. Finally Hartman comes out of the bathroom and into his room wearing a black button-down shirt and for the first time, pants not short. He says, “Hi, thank you for coming.” To both of us.  Hartman was already crying, same with Stephen. Both of them lying next to River and stroking her fur as the veterinarian injects River. River falls asleep after the injection then after a couple of minutes of her heavy breathing stopped. Both Hartman and Stephen were balling their eyes out. The vets eventually took River away along with a cross Hartman put around Rivers paw. Mookie was downstairs throughout the whole ordeal, I knew this was the last time I was going to see Hartman, Stephen, and Andrew in a weird metaphorical way it was another death for them whether they know it or not and I felt Andrew was on the same page. We stayed for a couple of hours and I didn’t really get the chance to talk to either of them we just helped clean up. I decide to eventually leave and on my way out the new house manager gives me a card. I open it up and the card reads “Thank you for everything.” along with the $500 dollars. I still would get emails here and there from Hartman but I ended up blocking him, wasn’t until years later I get a call from an unknown number, it was Dr. Hartman, he asks me if my address was still the same, I lied, and said yes. Bern tells me that he’s putting me on his will, I said thank you but I know it was all made up it was just a last attempt for me to come back.

I don’t know if I learned anything from my time there other than I’m now terrified of getting older and losing my mind. Hartman and Stephen are not bad people they just seem prisoners to their own minds. Hartman clearly has bipolar and other mental issues that I’m not licensed or educated to give a diagnosis. Both of them suffer from loneliness which is probably the only reason why they suffer together because the alternative is being alone.